That question....

We are slowly beginning to tell those closest to us that we are moving forward with our plans of surrogacy. The number one question I am asked is "Isn't it going to be difficult to give up the baby?" I'm actually quite surprised at the frequency of this question. It has even been asked on occasion from people who are very familiar with the surrogacy process. Maybe I shouldn't be surprised by the frequency? I'm still trying to process why the question bothers me so much. The only explanation I have is that it is a lack of knowledge and understanding of the route of surrogacy we are going and perhaps just the initial shock of our announcement and concern for me.

A little bit about our form of surrogacy...

There are two forms of surrogacy: traditional surrogacy and gestational surrogacy. Traditional surrogacy, up until recently, has been the most common method of surrogacy. Traditional surrogacy is done via artificial insemination, with the surrogate using her egg and another man’s sperm. Gestational surrogacy is done via In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), where fertilized eggs from another woman are implanted into the surrogate’s uterus. We are going the gestational surrogacy route. J&L will be using J's sperm and donor eggs, probably from an egg bank, for our surrogacy. J&L may at some point share their story and journey to surrogacy but for now I will only be sharing our side of the story. The bottom line is that I will have absolutely zero genetic relation to the baby.

Back to the question of "Isn't it going to be difficult to give up the baby?" Absolutely not. There are a few reasons why.

1. Like I said before, I have zero genetic relation to the baby which also leaves me with zero legal right to keeping the baby. Going into this pregnancy knowing there is no possible chance of keeping the baby is definitely a big factor in my confident answer.

2. As soon as people hear J&L's story they can't help but feel excited and full of hope at the gift of this baby. This is definitely a God given miracle that we are even discussing all of this let alone going through with it all.

3. I like to think of this as extreme babysitting. I get to be the nanny for the first 9-10 months and then the parents will take over from there. The perfect situation! :)

4. This is mostly my hubby's number 1 response to this question. We will be able to stay a part of this baby's life as much as any other extended family member would be. All major holidays and life events, family dinners, birthday parties, summer picnics...pretty much all of the fun stuff.

Of course there will be the post-hormonal baby blues and I intend to be weepy after the baby is born for a few days (I was with both of our biological children) but that is completely unrelated to "giving up the baby" and purely a natural process of hormonal changes post-delivery. So far the support of our family and specifically from my hubby has been incredible. The excitement is already thick in the air!