I started this blog thinking it would solely be the story of my journey through being a surrogate for Josh and Lori. I never in a million years that I would be sitting here, almost a year after first making contact about it all with them, pregnant with another family's baby. It feels like it's turned into a really long journey but it's only been about 10 months which in the world of fertility really is a short amount of time. When we found out just 5 months ago that our second attempt at IVF had failed at giving Lori a baby I knew in my heart I still wanted to be a carrier I just never anticipated the doors would open so quickly and with such ferocity.
When we had made the decision to be a carrier for Josh and Lori I was encouraged to find a support group of other carriers that I could lean on through the process. In December, I was contacted by Whitney Morgan. She introduced herself as the owner of Miracles in the Making which is a full-service Christian-based surrogacy agency. She wanted to meet with me and see if I would fit in well with a few other surrogates who met regularly as a support network. We met at Starbucks on a Monday night in December and immediately hit it off. I told her during that meeting that surrogacy was something I see being a part of my life for several years and would love to be represented by an agency if we ever decided to try again with another couple.
Over the following months I experienced the highs and lows of surrogacy and through it all felt incredible strength from other women who had gone through the same journey. Meeting Whitney and the other women was definitely something only Jesus could have facilitated. When I found out in May that our attempts at building a family for Josh and Lori were over I knew in my heart I still wanted to be a surrogate. Whitney had been a part of every little step along the way so she knew I was still interested but also knew I may need some time to build up the courage to try again for someone else.
Paul and I talked and decided that we felt it was best to at least fill out the application with her agency and submit it with the knowledge that she did not have a waiting list of parents needing surrogates so a match wasn't guaranteed in any amount of time. A few weeks went by and Paul and I had not yet finished our application. In early July Whitney sent me a message she had a potential couple for us and if we wanted to be considered in the pool of surrogate profiles to send in our application as soon as we could. What started as a pool of three surrogates quickly dwindled down to just my profile as the other two surrogates were not quite ready to start the medical process. She sent my profile to the intended parents and in turn I received their profile to review and pray over. On paper it looked like a perfect match. Their faith in Christ was very evident in their profile and their concern for the well being of their surrogate made my heart smile. They already had biological children of their own so I knew that our chances of healthy embryos were pretty good. The part that made me the most excited though was that they only lived a few miles from Paul and I. A local Christian couple looking for a surrogate was really only divine intervention. That just doesn't happen in the surrogacy world. They also were very pro-life in the profile and would not consider selective reduction which was very important to me (again, something not very common in the surrogacy world.)
After both sides decided to proceed with a phone interview photographs were swapped via email. That's when the Lord really made His presence known. I received M and K's family photograph but did not recognize them. They received my photograph and K made a connection. She thought my application sounded familiar but when she saw my photograph she knew she knew me. (My stomach is flipping all around as I'm typing this. It still blows me away.) You may remember this post...http://theirbabyinmybelly.blogspot.com/2014/03/oceans.html. Well, K was in the audience that day!!!! They have an incredible story to tell of their journey to surrogacy but the decision to pursue surrogacy was made in her heart the day she listened to a woman give her testimony at a MOPS meeting. That woman was me! Only the Lord knew that the woman giving her testimony would be the woman who would carry her baby for her.
When K made the connection, M immediately told Whitney and Whitney called me crying. Then I started crying! We set an appointment for a phone interview. The interview went fantastically and at the end we all decided to officially contract with each other.
I set an appointment with the fertility clinic in Boise to begin the medical process. Every appointment was textbook. My lining thickened up a week earlier then we needed which was fantastic. My body did not have any adverse reactions to the injections. Even the injections were easier. Despite my anxiety my body was doing exactly what it was supposed to be doing. M and K had decided that ethically they were only comfortable with fresh transfers. Usually with surrogacy IVF (and excuse my way dumbed down version) the babies are made in a dish then frozen once the geneticist determines they could survive thawing. Some women will have a dozen or more babies frozen. M and K were not comfortable with this. They didn't want "snowflake babies." Babies that are kept frozen and stored, adopted out, donated to research, or disposed of. They wanted the babies that were made each cycle to be given the best chance possible.
Baby making day arrived and three babies survived the first few days. On the day of transfer I was informed that there were still three babies but that one did not look like it would grow past the day. M and K decided to transfer the two strongest embryos and then wait to see if the third would continue growing. He did not. Two babies were transferred and I was put on two days of glorious bed rest. Paul was incredible with the kids. I slept a ton and just tried to stay as comfortable as possible as the babies made their nest. It can be a crampy feeling and unfortunately there isn't a whole lot that you can do to ease the discomfort. It's a good discomfort though. Knowing the babies are making a little home. 7 days post transfer I had a blood draw done and then again on day 9 to see if the babies were growing. My HCG levels were doubling at a 24 hour rate which was absolutely incredible!!! On day 20 my numbers were past 4,000 so were able to rest in knowing I was officially pregnant. The first heart beat ultrasound though would confirm whether or not there was one baby or two.
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| The three embryos |
That ultrasound was today. I was a little nervous. K went to the clinic with me. We both said we were prepared for one baby but not prepared for two or for a negative ultrasound result. The appointment was very fast and as soon as the ultrasound popped up on the screen we instantly knew I was pregnant with one perfectly healthy 7 week, 4 day old baby. Baby C is growing perfectly. The heartbeat was strong. He looks like a little grain of rice right now. He is feeding off of the yolk sac in the ultrasound photo. No placenta yet. We have an ultrasound in two more weeks and by then he should be safely nourishing off of my placenta. This is all so incredible. It's remarkable to see life actually taking place. Not many women have the honor of watching a child grow from day 1. I have pictures of it all. I'm still in awe. Every time K and I talk we just pour words of love on each other for the miracle that is taking place.
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| 7 weeks 4 days |
