"I don't want this pregnancy to be about me. I want it to highlight the beautiful maternal fire burning inside my best friend."

I've been a little emotional today. I can feel myself starting to kind of go inside myself as we get closer to round number 2. We have another ultrasound scheduled for this Wednesday, April 30 to see if my lining is where it should be for another transfer. So much is running through my mind when I think about all of the possibilities and I find myself getting scared and anxious. So today I've felt scared, anxious, and grateful all at the same time. Obviously, the scared and anxious emotions are easy for everyone to understand seeing as how we've been through this once before without a positive pregnancy test. The feeling of gratefulness though I think I need to write down.


Today I am feeling so very grateful that Lori has chosen me to be the one to take care of her baby for the first 9 months. It's an honor folks. A privilege and an overwhelming honor that she would allow me to do this for her. When I tell people about this journey the majority of the responses include "What a gift you are giving them." I understand what they mean and I don't want to minimize at all the part that I am playing in all of this but from my side of things it feels a bit different. Yes, I am definitely giving her something wonderful but womb rental isn't really that glamorous. No, she has given me something so much greater. She has given me her trust. She has seen a lot of heartache and struggles and yet she has come through all of it with hope and excitement at where her life is still going. She's the one with the real gift to give. A story that I pray she will be able to share someday.


This, sweet baby. This is the reason I am doing this. This who I am doing this for. Your mother...